i am not a great writter. infact i dont even think i spelled writter right. i might have but anyways, in responce to jaachims i "love" you peice. I thought i agreed with her but i don't know if i do anymore.

Laying in bed i was thinking about her post when i discovered that, yes i would die to keep matt alive but would it cause matt more pain to be dead, or would it cause matt more pain and greif that i was gone.

im not sure if that sounded right. but all i know is, is that if you love some one so much, and they love you so much, that it is going to hurt them so bad when you are gone.

i think that me killing myself so matt could stay alive might not be the best choice because i know how bad it would hurt him for me to be gone like that and know that i would never be able to return.

i dont know maybe im just mkaing my self sound stupid but just thinking like, all that grief to be put on the man i love just because i chose to end my life over his.

but dont get me wrong, i know i would rather have my life taken from me then his life taken from him... but it just makes me wonder... is feeling like you would give up our life for the one you love, really what true love is supposed to be like?

i definatley know i would give up my life for matt, but i dont think to be in true love you should think about having to kill yourself to spare your partner because all in all, isnt love supposed to be a joyus thing? not somehting someone thinks about so deeply, its just an amazing emotion that two people share between one another.

i dont know tho... maybe i am just making myself sound more and more stupid with every word i type...

or maybe i just mis understood jaachims post... could be either way...

i just realized... i would rather have the feeling of depression and greif put upon me, rather than have it put upon the one i love.

p.s.

i really hope no one takes offense to this...